My Pretty Mamushi
by Wednesday Ghost
Summary: Momo and Eiji make a sleeping Kaido their victim, because he has 'the perfect lipstick lips.' Eiji and Oishi practice a new technique.. in bed? It seems crossdressing is painful for Tezuka, but Fuji can console him.


Title:  My Pretty Mamushi

Author:  Coyen

Series:  Prince of Tennis

Rating:  PG-13

Pairing(s):  OishiEiji, TezuFuji, MomoRyo?

Disclaimer:  I do not own TeniPuri.  If I did, Kaido would wear lipstick because he has the nicest lips for it.  And Inui would come to practice with lipstick-kiss-marks all over his face.  Oh, and, Inui's notebook would be full of nekkid Kaido drawings.  But I don't it, so… I guess Fuji can't run an Alternate Pleasures Torture Dungeon of The Sex.

Author's Notes:  Gomen gomen, my Japanese is not at all very good… -_-;;  Please enjoy…

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"Mmm, mmm, that was so good nyah!"  Eiji licked his pouty lips clean of the milky remains of his ice cream cone.  He scrubbed his face with his shirt sleeve, effectively dispelling any missed drops and the wet shine on his mouth.  He turned to Ryoma and Momo, smiling brightly.  "Aren't you two _done_ yet?  Can't eat it all ochibi-chan?"  He snickered at Ryoma, who was pointedly ignoring his sempai as they walked along, enjoying his blueberry ice cream.  Momo glanced sideways at the freshman curiously.

"Oi, Echizen, what flavor is that?"  He was almost finished with his own strawberry cone.

"Blueberry."  Ryoma answered fluidly.

"Mou!  I've never had blueberry!  Let me try, onegai, Echizen!"  Momo grabbed for the cone, but Ryoma promptly stuck his foot out and tripped the upperclassman before the long fingers could touch his treat.  "Iteeee… Echizeeeennnnnn……"  Momo griped, face down on the concrete, heavy tennis bag pressing down on his back.  He stopped groaning and bit back a yelp as he realized that his own ice cream had been effectively squished beneath his chest.

"Hoi hoi, ochibi-chan, how cruel!"  Eiji laughed out loud as he walked ahead of the two.  Ryoma eyed him with a snarky expression.

Momo frowned as he stood, making a disgusted face at the pink smear on his front.  He unbuttoned his black school shirt and wadded it up, cramming it into his bag, then smoothed out the white shirt that had been beneath.  "Echizen, you buy the ice cream tomorrow!"  He yelled, then jogged up to his friends.

Ryoma was just finishing his blueberry cone when the trio entered a park, on the way back to school for the evening practice that Tezuka had called after the post-school practice had been canceled due to puddles on the court still drying.  The rain yesterday had been harsh, keeping them all indoors at a critical conditioning time.  Tezuka would surely be unrelenting at this evening's practice. 

"Nyah…?"  Eiji paused and Ryoma stopped so as not to bump into him.  Momo, not as quick, promptly ran into Ryoma.

"What was that for, stopping so suddenly…"  Momo backed up, then looked towards where Eiji and Ryoma were staring.  A wide grin slowly spread out over his face.

In the belly of the park, shaded by dappled trees, Kaido was sleeping.  Still in his running clothes with a towel draped around his neck, the sophomore had his back to a large tree, eyes closed in slumber.  Each breath he exhaled carried a slight _hissss_.

"Ooooo neeee…… what fun can we have here?"  Eiji snickered, his trademark grin joining Momoshiro's.

"We should do something that will embarrass him later, don't you think?"  Momo put his hands on his hips.  "Maybe then he'd learn to stop his stupid snake imitation.  It bugs me, just watching it!"  The boy frowned.

"Ano… I just want to see his reaction later to whatever we decide to do."  Eiji gave a peace sign and grinned brightly.  "Picking on the underclassmen is so much fun!"

"Oi… Kikumaru-sempai…"  Momo pointedly ignored the last comment.  "What do you think?  Should we dye his bandana pink?"

"No, no, maybe we should put a sign on his back…"

"We can write something on his face!"

"Oh!  I know!"  Eiji clapped his hands enthusiastically.  Somehow the three had ended up 'hiding' behind a tree.  He pointed straight through the park to a girly-looking shop across the street.  "Let's put make-up on him!  He has the lips for it."  Eiji did a mock Kaido face, making his eyes look grumpy while he puffed out his lips and made slurpy kissing noises at Momo.

"Oi… don't do that face to me!"  Momo looked sick for a moment.  He laughed, then turned to Ryoma.  'What do you think, Echizen?"  His violet eyes twinkled with mischievous and a long-standing dislike for his sophomore rival.

"…………………"

"Ne ochibi-chan?  Will play the prank with us?"

"……_baka _sempai-dachi."  Ryoma popped the last of the ice cream cone into his mouth, and walked off.  There were a few moments of silence in which Momo and Eiji stood still in shock, then Ryoma was promptly dragged back over the 'hiding place' behind the tree.

"I'll make sure nothing comes to wake him up, and you go get the stuff."  Momo said, leaning in close to Eiji.  

"Why's it always me who has to pay… and to be bossed around by underclassmen..."  Eiji said a bit grumpily, then perked up.  "We have to hurry, though, practice starts soon!"  

"Yoshi!"  Momo agreed.  "Get the most girly things they have, Kikumaru-sempai!"

"Hoi hoi!"  Eiji sprang cheerfully away, dashing through the park and across the quiet street to the pink, frilly-looking shop.

-----

"And here… and some more of the powder here."  Eiji's voice was hushed.  Momo obediently patted more blush onto Kaido's left cheek.  "That's good!  And I'll put some of the blue onto his eyes…"  Eiji swabbed softly at the closed lids, quiet as a mouse.  Kaido twitched in his sleep, and Momo and Eiji froze, looking at each other nervously, then breathed sighs of relief when the snoozing Viper resettled.  

Ryoma watched from a tree away, drinking his Ponta slowly to wash away the sugary-sweetness of the ice cream.  Honestly, those two could be so stupid… although, he had to admit, he was curious to see how his volatile sempai would react to the discovery that his cheeks had big gaudy circles of bright pink blush, his eyes resembled a bitter old hooker's with the blue and purple eyeshadow and green glitter, and his lips screamed _My corner, bitch!_ With the glaring red rouge they were swathed in.  The two upperclassmen had also carefully and silently sprayed the green bandana Kaido always wore a neon pink and super-glued a lightweight plastic tiara onto the top.

Practice was going to be interesting. 

"Hurry hurry ochibi-chan, let's get out of here!"  Eiji had suddenly appeared at his side, make-up in tow.

"We need to wake his up first, though, so that he arrives to practice on time and everyone can see."  Momo added.  "Something loud that won't give us away, either."

"Here."  Eiji picked up a rock from near the root of the tree, and hurled it into a bush beside the sleeping Kaido.  The birds made a racket at this loud disturbance, and Kaido snapped awake, looking around in alarm.  His gaze scanned quickly over his surroundings, just barely missing Momo and Eiji who were hiding behind the tree, snickering, with Ryoma (and his bored expression) clutched between then to keep the freshman from wandering and giving them away.  Satisfied that no one was around, Kaido pulled a watch out of his pocket, checking the time, then stood, dusted his shorts off, and began jogging steadily back towards the school for practice.

"Yoshi!"  Momo and Eiji chorused once the scary boy was out of earshot.  "Let's go!"

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"Mou… he still hasn't shown up yet."  Eiji said anxiously, clad in his regular shirt, back at school in the tennis courts.

"Don't worry, Kikumaru-sempai, I'm sure he'll be here soon."  Momo glanced over at the gate, his face screwing up into an impish, almost lecherous expression.  "Heh heh… I can't wait!"

"Eiji!  Come here!"  Oishi called from across the green concrete expanse.

"Hai Oishi!"  Eiji called back.  "Oishi would kill me if he found out what we did, nyah…"  He jabbed a finger at Momo.  "So don't give us away!"

"No, don't worry about me!"  Momo laughed loudly.  "Keep you eyes on Echizen.  He likes to provoke with that big bratty mouth of his!"  Momo laughed again, good-naturedly, and Ryoma eyed the two.  

"Baka…"

"Ne, ochibi-chan!  No telling nyah!"  Eiji said bossily, then turned with a smile back to his double's partner, bouncing across the court with a high-pitched, "Oiiiiishiiiiii!"

The sound of tennis balls pounding across the courts seemed to grow to a deafening roar, like waves on the rocky shore, after ten, then twenty minutes of restless waiting for Momo.  Sweating from his match with Taka, he couldn't keep his concentration on anything but that gate.

"BURRRNING!"  Came the senior's loud yell, and Momo looked up just in time to see the blur of yellow speed over the net.  Only by chance did he catch it.

"Kuso, where is that baka-mamushi?"  He muttered under his breath.  

"CHALLENGE!  FIRE, ON FIRE, NIIIIIIICE BURRRRNI-"  Taka's obnoxious English was cut strangely off, falling silent in mere milliseconds.  Momo's ball flew right past his ear.  Taka's racket had fallen to the ground with a loud clatter.

Confused, Momo followed his sempai's gaze… and froze.

As a matter of fact, it seemed that _everyone_ was frozen, gazes fixed in utter shock on the gate to the courts.

Kaido was late to practice.

"Gomen buchou."  The sophomore stalked up to Tezuka, whose impassive face just managed to give away his emotions by the beads of sweat rolling down his temple.  "How many laps?"  His deep, gritty voice grunted out.  He looked beautiful, even Fuji noticed.

"Kaido-kun, the new look is very attractive."  The prodigy had been the first to recover, and had done so seamlessly.

Kaido dismissed his sempai's compliment as some more of the weird mutterings that Fuji sometimes spouted off, probably a side effect of all the Inui juice that he drank for pleasure.

"K-Kaido… twenty laps…"  Tezuka bit out, then turned very quickly away towards Fuji, who had suddenly appeared at his side, placing a hand on the buchou's shoulder as if in silent support.

Oishi merely gaped, and Taka's face was bright red, all of the burning passion gone from his expression.  Fuji smiled, and smiled, and smiled, and Tezuka shuddered, then suppressed himself.  (Later on Fuji would wrap his arms about the captain to assure the taller boy that even with Kaido's decisions, the team would still be strong and they should always support their peers in their choices, no matter how awkward.)

Momo stared a little more, then cracked up laughing.  Eiji was much more subtle about it, covering his mouth completely to choke on the laughter, squatting down on the court to keep from falling over.  Ryoma watched disinterestedly.  

Kaido turned towards the guffawing Momo.  His lipstick glinted in the sun.  Inui, who had recently emerged from the clubroom, wasted no time staring and was scribbling into his notebook with a frenzied fervor.  "You!"  Kaido yelled, now genuinely pissed.  "What do you think you are laughing about?!!"

Momo hugged his stomach, the laughter making his face bright red.  Oishi turned to Eiji with a suspicious expression.  "Eiji…"

Eiji realized the danger of Oishi's quickness to catch on, and was instantly on his toes, snuggling up to Oishi's side.  "Ne, Oishi, what do you say to this~"  He lowered his voice to a whisper, placing his lips next to his partner's exposed ear, determined to distract the taller boy and in doing so, save his and Momo's asses.  

"After practice, we can go to my house and practice the _other_ Australian formation~!"

Oishi turned beet red.

Tezuka, unable to take anymore, called out, "Practice dismissed!"

"Kaido-sempai."

The irritated sophomore stopped his running once he had reached the place where Ryoma was sitting, and had called pout his name.  "Here."  He handed Kaido a mirror pulled form who knows where, grinning into his Ponta.

"Wha-?"  Kaido barely had time to blink before he had reflexively taken the mirror- and caught sight of himself in it.

"W… who…  d-did this……?!!!!!"

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Eiji flopped back on the bed, breathing heavily, beads of sweat rolling off his bare body and melting into the white bedsheets.  The other half of the 'Golden Pair' joined him in lying back, equally as out of breath, and the redhead turned into the taller boy's waiting embrace, placing a kiss on his forehead.  "Was it good, Oishi?"

"Aaa."  Oishi breathed heavily out.  His smile was tired and sated, happy.  "I think we're getting better and better at the Australian formation, Eiji."

"Which one?"

"Eiji!"

"Nyah!"

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Fin

Author's Notes:  Gomen again, my Japanese is so bad.  I hope you enjoyed this… please review!!!  I will make you my secret friend!  ß is desperate.. -_-;


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